So I’ve started a blogpost…finally. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting one up since forever but I’ve never seemed to gather the guts for it. You see, through this blogpost I just wanna share bits and pieces of my daily life without it being all about me? If it makes any sense. I wanna share stuff that happens to me, to those around me and to the environment I’m in. And I just want this to be something you can relate to. Something that makes you feel like you’re not alone. And first and foremost I want this to make you chuckle, smile, or even grin. If just for a little while.
I’m just your ordinary girl living what is becoming all around a more and more ordinary lifestyle. Studying really far away from home with a heck of a time difference. Yikes. Thanks a lot. But no seriously thank you. This was a major opportunity for me and even though I complain a lot (like a loooot) about bits and pieces of what are most probably daily struggles, this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
I’m home now. Well I am home, but I’m actually about to leave. I came home for winter holidays and time’s ticking. Fast. I haven’t been home in…how long has it been really? 7 months I guess. Felt it all the way to my bones. Cause you see, I was one of THOSE teenagers who weren’t comfortable were they were. I was just so awkward? I guess…? So I figured that my life was out there! That out of lala land over here was were I would really find… I don’t know, life, love, true happiness… I guess. Well ain’t Karma something.
I’m laughing myself away over here but this was serious business for my 16yo self. Heck for my 18yo self. Took me a while and a serious case of anxiety induced near depression to understand that IN MY CASE what I needed was to be comfortable in my own skin. Because I had everything I needed here. I just needed to clean my glasses proper. Said bye bye to “friends” who really really weren’t good for me, say hi to friends that are, started to listen more to what my boyfriend had to say (love of my life this one) and started to reshape my life to what i really wanted it to be. One step at a time.
So now that I’m away from the place that I’ve painstakingly made for myself, it’s not enough to say that I’M SCARED. I AM SO SO FREAKING SCARED I CANNOT. But I’m not the only one out there. I’m not the only one who is scared, and helpless and alone. I feel like even though it’s only been a year and a half since I’ve started this whole crazy thing I’ve aged 20 years. Worrying about saving enough money to pay my phone bill, my rent AND still eat comfortably has become a monthly struggle. Please oh please can’t I have my mom back? I miss roast.
So here is a bit of background to me and what’s happening in this crazy life of mine. I’ll try to update this blog fairly regularly with more bits and pieces of my daily struggles.